How To Sexually Aroused A Woman: 5 Tips To Turn Her On

How to sexually arouse a woman is something that most men struggle with. Most men wrongly assume that the process of sexual arousal for women is the same as it is for men. Unlike men, women need to warm up before they're able to reach their peak of sexual arousal. Men, however, can shift from cold to hot immediately. But the best part is: with regards to how to sexually arouse a woman, while it may take more for them to warm up, once they are hot, a woman's sexual wants and needs can end up being even more difficult to satisfy than a guy's. Remember that girls are sexual beings as well. Recognizing this can make learning how to sexually arouse a woman a lot easier and much more effective.

To add on to the above, the following are 5 more tips on how to sexually arouse a woman:

1. Touch Her More

Truly mastering the subtleties of the touch can help to seduce a woman to imagine just how wonderful sex may be with you. What I like concerning the concept of touch has to do with a mutually gratifying sensation for both you and her. She gets satisfaction from feeling your hands on her skin and you get satisfaction from feeling her skin with your hands. When each of you are in harmony with this light exchange of pleasure, it can be absolutely awesome. But keep in mind that every woman is different and some women could be more uncomfortable with touching than others. Gauge the way she reacts the moment you do touch her. If she is OK with it, you'll find out right away because she is going to feel aroused sexually and safe at the same time. Test it out. I assure you this truly is as effective as it is simple.

2. Gaze Into Her Eyes

Holding eye contact can be even more simple, but it is actually a lot more powerful than it might seem. Gazing into a woman's eyes as you're talking to her or touching her is actually among the very best methods of how to sexually arouse a girl. The key is to hold eye contact longer than she does. In other words, do not look down or break eye contact unless she does first. This adds a level of emotional intensity to your interaction. She'll feel it starting with her eyes but deep within her body as well. Almost certainly, you'll notice that this small strategy can make a world of a difference.

3. Talk With Caution

To put it another way, watch what you're saying. The quickest way to un-arouse a woman is to say things that are sure to kill the mood. Be careful not to talk about anything that is too uninteresting, too depressing, or too serious. Subtlely mention things that will make her think sexually while not getting exceedingly sexual. Ask her when was her first kiss. Ask her how her first kiss made her feel. You get the idea.

4. Get Her Laughing

Getting her laughing is a talent that can't be fully explained in detail here, but the following are 3 humor tips that could help you out as they relate to how to sexually arouse a woman: 1) Never stop smiling. Neither laughter nor sexual attraction can be built if every time she sees you, you're frowning. No frowning. 2) Act silly. Women are magnetically attracted to men who have the confidence and self-assurance to be comfortable with laughing at themselves for their own shortcomings or for whatever other reason. 3) Look into her favorite comedians. By doing this, you can either pick up perfect examples of what she thinks is funny or you can find funny movies and shows starring those comedians, watch them with her, and also laugh along with her.

5. Start and Stop

Start and stop, push and pull, up and down, back and forth. It doesn't make a difference what you call it, one thing will continue to be certain: women are turned on by this pattern. This routine of creating sexual tension works because it gradually builds anticipation. It builds the effect of her eager to have sex but not knowing when she's gonna get it. If you want to understand how to sexually arouse a woman, you must understand how to build sexual tension in intervals. The best way to achieve this is to take 2 steps forward and 1 step back, time and again. Grab her hand, then stop. Then grab it again. Then stop. Then hold her hand, interlocking fingers. Then stop. Advance a bit further than the last time every time you start and stop. Rinse and repeat and pretty soon, you'll be heading past home base.

Before revealing how to go on to the next step with women, please heed this warning:
The system you will discover in our FREE 7 Part eCourse on how to be attractive to women will affect women on a deeply subconscious level and trigger their most sexual inner instincts. Please use this information responsibly!

Thoughts on the Ability to be sexually aroused or to orgasm

I'm going to explore some thoughts here. Maybe I'm very unusual but I don't really think so. I haven't always enjoyed sex but recognised early on that it was a combination of technique and emotional or mental state (mine). Based on what I've read (and I read extensively) and have experienced, I'm just a couple years from 40 years of being sexually active, I think that just about any healthy woman should be able to enjoy sex. Granted someone with a hormone imbalance or some other health issues simply may not.

I'm multi orgasmic and with my current sexual partner I've never not orgasmed. He is caring but not romantic. In the past I've had times, some extended, when I've shut down sexually and to some extent emotionally. This was when I was in a negative relationship where my needs simply could not be met and for what ever reason I was unable to leave right away. I would, at least in certain emotional areas, including sex, shut down, essentially go numb. It's not a pleasant experience.

I jokingly have said many times here that if I'm happy, I'm horny. That's really true. This came about through a series of self realizations and taking responsibility for my sexuality. I'm still working on it. Here's the deal, as I see it, an inept or abusive partner can cause you to pull away and shut down but your emotional state is the real determinate factor. Shut down is a survival response. What you really need to do then is re-examine why you are there, if it is salvageable, or if you need to get out. Communication can go along way in some cases.

We are bombarded with societal and familial messages that are negative to sexuality. Many of us are very inhibited because of a deeply ingrained fear of being judged negitively if we are sexual. This can be hard to overcome and I'm convinced it is the root of most women's sexual frustrations. Many confuse being loose and sexually agressive or making public displays of sexual behavior with being sexually responsive. We still know very little really about women's sexuality (or men's for that matter) there are variations in our bodies and so in what we respond to. But the brain is the biggest sexual organ and it's what goes on in your head that can completely cut off your ability to respond to what goes on with your body. At some point I may attempt to explore what I think it takes to overcome this, but I'll have to give it some thought.

So the point I'm working on so far is that it is possible to be highly orgasmic even without foreplay or romance or a lot of other things that many people believe to be essential. I say this because because I've done it. What is needed is a state of arousal. That is mental/emotional. How do you get there? I work at keeping things juicy all the time. I associate virtually everything with sex. I see sexual symbolism all over the place and I get quite a kick out of it. It's a state of awareness and being. My sexuality is not me, but is a big part of who and what I am. I am a woman and as such am a deeply, profoundly sexual being - as we all are. It is a huge part of what drives all life. As humans we are very fortunate, I think, to have sex be an act of pleasure, emotion, fun, whatever we choose to make it and when ever we choose to have have it. Few creatures have this flexibilty. Unfortunately we humans have chosen to turn it into a highly restricted means of controlling each other and gaining power through creating guilt.

Sexuality is a gift and should not be shared indescriminately. It is better within a committed relationship where you can really get to know each other and with a good partner it can deepen and improve over time. It takes communication, cooperation and some work.

So how to keep it juicy? Exersize and healthy diet play a role. Kegels are important but so is general physical condition. You don't have get to the level of an olympic athelete but staying toned and healthy helps. A generally positive outlook on life helps. People who walk around POd all day don't generally feel very sexy. This doesn't just happen, you have to stay aware of your mental state and adjust it when it slips. Don't look at red lights as impediments. they give you breathing time, do a few kegels- along with the vibration of your car you may start looking forward to those stops in traffic. Enjoy them. A line in the grocery gives you a chance to chat with your neighbors in line - it's all a matter of prespective.

Smile at people, laugh whenever you can - I don't do enough of that still. Work on finding positives and then start working on keeping your thinking juicy. Mama Gena offers some good advice on that in her books. Talk about sex, you don't have to be crude but don't be afraid to throw it into your conversation - you may be surprised. I had a talk with a nearly 80 year old neighbor the other day that might have surprised some people, we didn't invent sex and older people have quite a bit to say about it.

Getting into and staying in a state of low level arousal that can be quickly turned up, is a matter of practice and training. Just like taking up a sport, like running. You don't just throw on a pair of running shoes and sign up for a 10K. You have to work up to it, get into shape, stretch, learn to keep alignment, how to place your feet. The same is true with getting your mind and body into sex. It takes regular work or play, depending on your perspective. If you see it as work you probably won't get there.

Regular self pleasuring is important. Don't let yourself get too frustrated, give yourself some relief and learn what works. Experiment, try tantric techniques of pleasuring yourself with no thoughts, focus only on what you feel. Try fantasizing about different things, get kinky in thought, look up some stuff and see if you can get your self going with it. (doesn't mean you have to or want to do it) just see where the fantasy takes you. You can cover a lot of territory with that. What works best for me is visualizing the man I care for. Some sex therapists say that's not a good idea because if you are reliant on that and they walk, then where are you? But I can cum with all sorts of visualisation, that's just my most intense. Make love to yourself, not just sexually. Give your self a pedicure, a scalp massage, buy yourself flowers, don't wait for some poor, mostly clueless male to make you feel good and indulge you, do it for yourself. It took me a long time to realize how important that is.

Try to make all your interactions with your sexual partner a form of foreplay. When you are close enough for whatever reason, be aware of his scent, his nearness, his masculinity. Really look at him, see the little details, the hairs on his arms, the shape of his nose, how he stands and moves. I think the more aware you are of someone the more they generally respond to you and you repond to them.

Laugh together. Enjoy each other, find ways to make each other right instead of wrong. People who live on the defensive have trouble relaxing and being sexy. Find ways to keep yourself and your partner thinking sexy, you don't have to be blatant, subtle can be very effective. Even dressed conservatorily for business you can ditch the panty hose in favor of stockings, and go without underware. Forget perfume, use your natural scent. This is not a matter of contrived behavior but of making and keeping your sexuality simmering naturally. Take time to find things to enjoy, to look at and smell the flowers, examine ladybugs, choose the fabrics that come in contact with your skin for their feel and color. Don't wear anything that you don't feel good in.

No doubt there is a good deal more to be said on this but this is a starting point. We each have different responses to specific things but in general terms we aren't so very different.

I often think about the choices people make, the choices I've made, often poor choices. In retrospect, actually in some cases even at the time, better options are clear but not taken. People will chose what is less convenient, less safe, less attractive, more difficult but which provides no offsetting gain at all.

I have a clear example of this with snow. The buildings I live in have two sets of outside stairs. One set stays very protected from the weather, these stairs are always clear and dry. The other set is very exposed, they get wet, icy, piled with snow and they are almost impossible to keep clear, let alone make safe. There is no significant difference getting out the front or to the parking area by using either set of stairs. I will go out to shovel snow soon, I've already peeked, people have been up and down the snow packed stairs. In the past I've put up caution tape closing off the stairs. People go under the tape to sue these stairs. WHY?

I don't know. One explaination is that they are idiots who have gotten into the habit of using one set of stairs and the idea of going another way just does not compute. Another possibility is that they are hoping to slip to and fall so they can sue. Why someone would want to injure themselves and possibly live with pain and disability for years is hard to say. Maybe they want a challenge? That's a pretty lame one but perhaps they like lame challenges? I don't know. But I suspect if I could get some insight into this I just might understand myself and others better. 

Arousal Personality Types

People have different needs and responses around arousal. This leads them to different preferences and personality styles.

Basic threshold

Stimulation leads to arousal that is triggered across two thresholds. There is a required level of stimulation we must receive before we feel aroused, below which we are less happy and above which we are more happy. When we have too little stimulation, we feel bored and seek arousal to lift us out of that dull state. This is sometimes also called the 'boredom threshold'.

Some people have a low boredom threshold and are easily aroused. Others have a higher threshold and have to receive greater stimulation before they become aroused. This is one reason why some people hide themselves away while others regularly take significant risks.

Desire

Enjoyment of arousal also varies between people. Some people seek it while others avoid it.
Arousal can easily be a pleasurable state where you 'feel more alive' and experience the physiological effects of being aroused. Even negative emotions such as fear can be exciting, perhaps explaining why horror movies are so popular.
People who seek arousal are often known as 'sensation seekers'. Mark Zuckerman and colleagues have identified a measurement scale with sub-categories in the way people seek arousal including:

• Thrill and Adventure Seeking: Desire to engage dangerous sports or other activities.
• Disinhibition: Desire to be uninhibited (sexually and socially).
• Experience Seeking: Desire for stimulating experiences through such as conversation, study, travel and just being different.
• Boredom Susceptibility: Dislike of repetition, routine and other people who are not stimulating.

On the other hand, arousal can be uncomfortable. When you are aroused you have less control over your actions and concern for the esteem of others or adherence to values can cause anxiety and discomfort. Many have a high need for a sense of control and the 'letting go' that arousal can imply makes them avoid many forms of stimulation and consequent arousal.

A lower desire for arousal is related to a second threshold, where increasing arousal pushes the person into a frightening state of being overwhelmed by the stimuli around them. Those who are affected by the autistic spectrum of conditions are particularly prone to overwhelm.

Four types

By looking at low and high levels of the basic threshold and desire for arousal, we can identify four types by which we can classify people with regard to how they approach arousal and the consequent effect on their character.

Arousal Type matrix	Desire for arousal Low (dislike arousal) High (seek arousal)
Basic arousal threshold High (not easily aroused) Low (easily aroused)	Calm Risker   Avoider Hedonist

Hedonists

Hedonists are pleasure-seekers who put enjoyment above most other things. While we all seek pleasure, hedonists have a higher than usual need for it and so actively pursue it. It helps that they are quite easily aroused, so encouraging the hedonistic approach. A bit of alcohol. A nice meal. Friendly conversation. These are often enough for the lucky hedonists who can relax and enjoy life.
The low achievers of life may be hedonists. The are happy enough to bumble along, seemingly doing little towards their careers, yet merrily enjoying life as it happens.

Riskers

Riskers are similar to hedonists in their desire for pleasure through arousal. The problem for them is that they have a higher boredom threshold, which means they have to gain greater stimulation before they feel the pleasure of arousal.

The classic way of doing this is to take risks, which is why people in this group can be found jumping out of aeroplanes, hurtling down ski runs and generally doing anything for the thrill of excitement they get from acting in ways that would terrify most other people.

Low Arousal Theory describes how people who are not easily aroused become 'stimulus hungry' and will even act anti-socially to achieve arousal. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) has been linked to this.

Avoiders

Like hedonists, avoiders are easily aroused, but they do not like how arousal makes them feel, and hence seek to avoid stimuli which would make them feel even slightly aroused. Such people may have been taught when young that they should not display emotion or they may be afraid of their own reactions to arousal, for example if they have anger management issues.

There are a number of conditions, such as agoraphobia, where a low overwhelm threshold can lead to people isolating themselves. This may be related to a single stimulus, such as being outside and away from the comfort of home.

Calms

Calm people have a low desire for arousal and are fortunate enough not to be easily aroused. This lets them face live with a placidity that is the envy of Avoids and to the irritation of Riskers who tend to find them rather boring.
As some hedonists, they may not seek to develop challenging careers and may be criticized for their lack of drive. But they quietly accept comments and do not mind, knowing that others are different.

So what?

Persuasion often involves arousing people, getting them enthused or anxious. If you can see the type of person, you can change how you approach this. For those who seek higher arousal, you can use or offer stronger arousal methods. For those who want lower arousal, use a softer, more subtle approach.

 

Sex: tips on how to get her aroused and in the mood

Tips on How to Get Her in the Mood

When it comes to foreplay and sexual excitement, a woman can be a closed book. Unfortunately, this leaves many men puzzled and wondering where to go next. Since women tend to better understand the needs of other women, homosexual relationships pose less of a problem in this regard. But the poor men; they are frequently caught between a rock and a hard place. According to most women, it’s because they’ve done something wrong.

Getting a woman in the mood is not as hard as you may think. If you’re a man involved in a heterosexual relationship, you’ve no doubt encountered your share of struggles when it comes to your partner’s approachability. Fact is, many men can’t help but to overdo the physical aspect of romance, much to the dismay of his female partner. It’s not that women don’t enjoy the nitty-gritty of it all. In most cases, they are just in need of a different type of affection or attention.
If you want to open the doors to a woman’s heart (and bed), it never hurts to compliment her. 

Some women can be tough to work around – particularly those who are suffering from low self-esteem – but it will be well-worth the effort. If you comment on your partner’s amazing body and she shuts you down by pointing out the extra weight she’s gained, don’t stop trying. Many men give up too easily out of sheer frustration, but sometimes your partner just needs to be validated. To shake it up a bit, try giving her a few compliments that you haven’t uttered before. There’s no need to be vulgar at this stage, so focus on the less-noticed aspects of her face and body. You’d be surprised by how many women are turned on by the right compliment in the right moment.

If your girl is a romantic at heart, get romantic. While flowers and chocolates are nice, they’ve become so clichéd that your partner might actually consider it a cop-out. Put some thought into it. Show up at her office for an impromptu lunch, or have a hot bath ready for her at the end of a long day. Women love to be taken care of – even those who are incredibly independent – when the effort makes their lives easier. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes for a moment and determine what you could do to create a smoother day for her. Do it. Now, sit back as the thank-yous start to surface.

Here are a few theories introduced by the researchers in the study:

Women's genital responses are hidden from view and produce fewer "somatosensory cues." While men may get turned on by feeling themselves get erect, women do not. However, [studies have found that] even when women received feedback about their level of vaginal engorgement, correlations (between genital and subjective arousal) were low and statistically non significant. [In other words, being told we're getting turned on doesn't necessarily turn us on.]

Women may edit their self-report of feeling sexually aroused because of socially desirable responding. Positive affect directs attention to erotic stimuli, thereby increasing sexual response, whereas negative affect interferes in the processing of sexual cues, resulting in lower sexual response. Lower concordance among women may reflect their experience of negative affect while watching the conventional, commercially available erotica that is primarily produced for men.

Genital response to sexual stimuli may be an evolved self-protection mechanism. Female genital response is an automatic reflex that is elicited by sexual stimuli and produces vaginal lubrication, even if the woman does not subjectively feel sexually aroused...Female genital response entails increased genital vasocongestion, necessary for the production of vaginal lubrication, and can, in turn, reduce discomfort and the possibility of injury during vaginal penetration. Ancestral women who did not show an automatic vaginal response to sexual cues may have been more likely to experience injuries that resulted in illness, infertility, or even death subsequent to unexpected or unwanted vaginal penetration, and thus would be less likely to have passed on this trait to their offspring....Reports of women's genital response and orgasm during sexual assaults suggests that genital responses do occur in women under conditions of sexual threat.

That women can experience genital response during unwanted sex or when viewing depictions of sexual assault suggests that women's vasocongestion response is automatically initiated by exposure to sexual stimuli, whether or not these stimuli are preferred, and without subjective appraisal of these stimuli as sexually arousing or desired.

During processing of sexual stimuli, brain areas associated with emotional inhibition are activated among women. The anterior cingulate cortex (ACC) is a region of the brain where subjective responses to sexual stimuli are processed.  [The ACC appears to influence subjective responses but not genital responses, which helps explain the "upstairs/downstairs" disconnect. Incidentally, women's ACC is most active when we're ovulating and attracted to macho, high-testosterone men.  The ACC is activated when we're in conflict about something. Is the ACC also acting as a self-protection mechanism, warning us to proceed with caution?]

Bottom line: Physical arousal is not proof that a woman is really turned on. To really get a woman hot and bothered, you have to start from the top.